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Addiction to Meditation

#1
As life goes, a am an
addict and work with addicts today and people, that need help, trying to help…but
to get to where I am now… was a road a can just look back at with … no word but
a deep respect for God. Many road travel… got addicted very young, 13 years
old, was a night mare child, 6 rehabs end up locked up by the state, 7 rehab.. Got
clean of drugs 24 and 3md old, cross addict to alcohol. 24 and met my wife got married,
did many jobs. But always in addiction looking for true for God, went from
church to church, seen many doctors, head doctor as well! 2002 got addicted to prescription
meds, use around +_ 7 to 10 time lethal dose a day. One day there was
knowingness, like a I just know if I don’t stop I will die in 3md. Long story
short, I survived lol, and kick the habit. I left my looking for God and put all
my energy in making money, still drinking. I had some success ended up with 7
cars and around 10 properties. Was happy for a short time, then the hopeless feeling
return (money was not my answer), I lost everything went bankrupt. 2009, went farming,
which was nice, lost everything again. Around 2012 I was really tired off live,
that energy left, I was a numb person that worked and drinked, and I think
death was very very close…



2013 October 1. Walk around
at my work, and was like a light coming on, I do not need to be drinking, and I
stopped…



I started doing AA
meeting, they follow a spiritual program, I know my live was not working, my
beliefs was not working and I had to change, wanted to change



Now I was brought up
very strict Christian, for me to dabble in the esoteric, I was told is like
losing my soul…from a very young age, so it was with fear and trembling that I started
on this road.



November 2015 I started
with meditation… that was the greatest relief I had ever experience, to stop
thinking wow, man that was great! For a person that thinked and thinked for 41
years, to stop, to get still, to rest…



Slowly my consciousness
open, I started seeing thing like never before…



To realise you are not
your thought, and it comes and goes, and to separate yourself from it… (still
working on it)



Before I was misled in
that: I am my thought… I am my feeling, to see is only ego



In stillness in
meditation is where I find live at this moment in time, in forgiving, letting
go of ego



There is still a lot
off work to be done… but slowly I am getting back what I have lost… and are on
a road to home



God bless us all with
light and understanding, only God can open eyes



Soli Gloria
Light, Life and Love
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#2
This is the True Path. Once found, stay and live in the present moment. Your spiritual work in to stay in the here and now, and recognize the ego's resistance to die. You can die now and live.
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